pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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