Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would fuck him just for his dog
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
