Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why is there bacon in the couch?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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