i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
