She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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