I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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