weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
