For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
