i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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