i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
