walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
