dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
