am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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