Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is Oprah even human
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
