Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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