Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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