Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
