You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
