i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What changed your mind?
Being sober
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize