The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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