I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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