therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
