couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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