I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
