We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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