She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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