I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize