Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize