Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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