so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Who died my cat blue again?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
