No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize