but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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