i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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