I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
