Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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