how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
