today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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