Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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