I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
