I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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