Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
