i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize