weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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