Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
