Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
