she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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