I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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