the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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