Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
