Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
