I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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