you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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