I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
