You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
