Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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