Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i now understand why vodka
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
