singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
