she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
