Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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