You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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