I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
