Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
