this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
