Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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