i need an iv and a liver transplant
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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