Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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